Why I Don't Lotion My Feet

JULY 24TH 2010

Lotioning your feet is not only a waste of lotion -- but a waste of time. Nobody sees your feet if you wear sneakers anyway.

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I'm a numbers person so let me supply you with thee numbers.
If you skimp on lotioning your feet you save 25% of each and every lotion bottle.
If you go through 4 lotion bottles without lotioning your feet, technically, you get a free bottle of lotion.
Although your feet may be cracked and ashy following this 4-lotion-bottle-no-feet-lotioning-ordinance, WHO CARES?
In the extensive research I've conducted in the lab, black people are more susceptible to criticism involving lotion than caucasians.
I don't care. And neither should you.

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